Ashley

Jan 9, 2004

To start a new year off..

with a big....

FUCK YOU.

Have a nice day!!!!

Posted at 07:17 pm by ashlee
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Jan 3, 2004

Sooo..

Haha. how about that shit.

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're the kind of chick that can hang out with your boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't care about presents or about going to fancy placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy being around your boyfriend.

Its true too..

<333.

Posted at 10:20 am by ashlee
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Dec 31, 2003

HAPPY NEW YEAR.

today my day consisted of sleeping eating and watching blue crush.

9 1/2 times.

later tonight Jeremy Alan Shane and Zyski came over.

wow.

..........

boys left around uh 200?

..........

im going to watch blue crush.

later.

Posted at 11:22 pm by ashlee
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Dec 22, 2003

well..

Best Friends Means.

Dah Dah, I love you. Thanks for everything you said on the phone it made me feel better and get over my little hurt feelings... you and brittni are my best friends.. i dont know what id do without you.. Im here for you no matter what.. dont worry about what other ppl do or say to you.. dont let them bother you!!!

People got big fuckin lyin mouths.. you deserve to burn in hell.. </3

so i was really hungry for wendys..

i didnt get it though..

fred got his hair cut. justin told me so..

Fred

i want to see it. i want to see you. i want to say hi. i havent talked to you in awhile. i miss you fred.

so i havent talked to jamie in like 4 days i wonder whats going on in the little shitheads life. jamie if you read this. Hey baby.

so i went out tonight.
with chelsea... and then she went home..
and then me jeremy alan flex and phil went and did some weird things..

thats all..

I saw brittni dah and michael at Vochelli's when me alan and jeremy went and got our food. it made my day. dah i missed you. brittni. haha your funny.

MICHAEL. one love mvp!

The only reason i cant wait til christmas is to see brooke. I only get to see her like NEVER. Shes my baby girl.. i cant wait . <3

Im not going to school tomorrow.. bc im bad and im skipping..all we are gonna do is sit around. we dont have 7th pd and thats math and im failing math. so its not like im missing something i really have to be there for.. soo hell yeahhhh!

<333

Posted at 09:17 pm by ashlee
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Dec 21, 2003

first taste of love will kill you instantly

my family is sitting around watching christmas cartoons on tv..

i dont need this.

im going back to school tomorrow
its going to be fun.

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Bye.

Call me out
You stayed inside
One you love
Is where you hide
Shot me down as I flew by
Crash and burn
I think sometimes you forget where the heart is
Answer no to these questions
Let her go, learn a lesson
It's not me, you're not listening now
Can't you see something's missing?
You forget where the heart is
Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay
Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life, what's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me?
And how broken my heart is
Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay
It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend

Posted at 06:34 pm by ashlee
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Dec 19, 2003

yeah.. so

So how about jeremy stayed home with me yesterday instead of going to school.. I was so happy..

Im so sick still.. i didnt want to be sick on our anniversary, but i was...

so i went to the doctors yesterday morning..

he said i have the virus part of the flu.. it will last another 2-3 days!!! whoo fucking hoo..

im getting sick of laying in my bed..

im getting sick of missing school im so scared to go back and see what i missed..

and im sick of my brother being in my room on this damn computer playing his annoying gun games

when im trying to get rid of my 102 temp.

Life is

gay.

i think i need to take a shower, i havent taken on of those in while.. shhh, dont tell ne one.

im taking some more medicines and going back to sleep in the dark room where ive been since

wed.

later.

Posted at 06:39 am by ashlee
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Dec 17, 2003

...

As i sit here with a 103.4 temperature shaking.

its 248.

why arent I sleeping.

i almost went to childrens hospital.

I wanted to..

its not safe for me to have a high fever with seizures.

i could die.

though, it wouldnt be that bad.

i had to come on.

to read blogs.

duh.

jeremy and i have been together for 2 years today.

and im sick, i cant be at school with him.

im upset.

He came down my house at 9 oclock bc i was scared of how sick i was getting.

shelly said he could stay over, Just Incase I got sicker and we needed to go to the hospital.

he chose to go home because he had school.

it was okay.

i need to lay down.

im not using you, i pinky swear.

I never break pinky swears.

id never think about breaking your heart..

Posted at 11:52 pm by ashlee
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Dec 15, 2003

... we dont have much room to live

im just sitting and staring..

wondering if anything good is going to happen anytime for the rest of my life.

tomorrow is yellowcard..

donald<3

Brittni<3

CHELSEY!!!!!!<3 HOPEFULLY OWHHH!

alan, jeremy, rocker.. maybe.. (hehehe) gay. j/k.

my mom just slapped me in my face cause i got "Smart"

im gonna turn her in..

im seriously thinking ABOUT IT.

Confusion

the main problem in my life.

does it look like i fucking give a shit ne more.

my fucking grades suck.

i hate my family.

GO AHEAD AND FUCKING TALK SHIT ON ME>

i dont fuckin care anymore

i dont even know if i got my friends anymore.?

AND THATS THE WORST FUCKING FEELING IN THE WORLD.

some of you know.

if you dont know how it feels your fucking lucky.

im just sitting here flipping out on my computer bc it feels good to get things out.

michael texts me in school today asking why i dont talk to him ne more.

I DIDNT KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

him and dah are happy, i feel as though thats all she needs anymore, so i stay away..

<3 in other words he took her away from me<3

away from alot of ppl..

Did you know i miss you?

It was like falling in love with someone, and then losing them the next day..

I havent talked to fred in 5days.

i dont need that stress anymore.

i got my cell phone taken off of me and i was happy.

bc i didnt need to fight with him about everything.

Im happy with who im with now, i always will be..

Jeremy keeps me together..

i need him right now, but hes at gay fucking band practice.

my one wish would be no band.

his one wish would be no softball..

god damnit life would be fucking great.

but, as of right now it fucking sucks ass..

i went to a party friday night..

the main thing i knew would happen did

I DONT GIVE A FUCK

i had fuckin fun after they left bc i realized i dont need them.

i karaoked with my daddy!

and RICKKYYY!!!!

it was non stop country..

singing with my dad brought a tear to his eye he said..

things are hard.

i wish i was 5 again.

i sit down sometimes and watch home videos..

and i cry..

Lindsay is graduating..

Brooke is boy crazy up the ass going through stages i didnt think you could go through..

my brother went to his 7th grade christmas dance friday..

and, im going though tough stages of life..

we're all growing up..

if it wasnt for someone watching over us right now i think me and brooke would be dead.

i need my grandmother like crazy right now.

with her my mother didnt go crazy and without my mother going crazy it was peaceful around here.

my fucking dad doesnt help either..

but i dont know what to say about that..

i just sit here and listen to music all day, sleep to it all night..

talk to the ppl that make me laugh and feel good about myself since i go though so much shit

during the day that i cant handle..

THURSDAY is me and jeremys 2 year

anniversary..

thats along time..

im happy even if you add up all the ups and

downs..

we have nothing but subway cards. so we are

going to subway..

i love him.

i do.

so i dont fucking care if i have to pay for the

drinks to use the fucking cards. ill do it.

bc im the one who messes up everything ALL

THE TIME.

and i own him alot.

im not saying he hasnt screwed up, im just

saying i beat him at that.

and so on the 18th i will sit down with him, and

think to myself that i am really thankful for

what i have and that i should bitch about

everything like i always do.

bitching about everything is my way out of

things..

also feeling sorry for myself..

why the fuck do i do that?

WHY DOES NE ONE?

because it makes them feel better.

it does..

do who ever does, Keep doing it and dont stop.

i wanna make ppl happy.

starting tomorrow, im paying attention in class

and im going to bring home better grades than i have ever in my life.

just to make ppl proud of me.

if i dont, i will die.

i will do it myself.

i swear.

you have to push yourself, to your greatest expectations.

if you dont youll lose in life.

ive learned from many mistakes, i said i have

but i never prove it. To ne one..

especially myself.

i dont know what im talking about anymore

im going on and on, about everything in life.

life is gay.. stupid...

later.

Posted at 06:34 pm by ashlee
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Dec 11, 2003

So, yeah

im sick.

dah dah left me a message that made me cry,even though i need her to explain and i need to ask

questions, because im stupid and i dont understand.

brittany left me a message on aol that i didnt understand.

brittni is always upset anymore.

... my life i going down the drain ...

so confused..

right now i dont know if i did ne thing.

bc im confused..

dont you hate when that happens.?

today i went and got my shoes at the mall..

their okay..

i dont really want to go to the dance ne more..

i dont want to do anything..

but lay in my bed.

Posted at 07:06 pm by ashlee
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Dec 4, 2003

Hey Kids.

Just a quick update on my day:

i got home from school..

ate, sat around with jeremy n phil..
sarah got kicked out of her house..
so me jeremy and phil went and got her..
she was sitting on her porch with her bookbag and a high C..
shes staying here for the night..

--..we are praying for a snow storm..--

okay.. so ne ways..

phil n jeremy dropped me and sarah off with my car
me and sarah drove down my driveway.
then we did the dishes for my mom.
and started to clean towels
when a car came down my driveway..
It was fred, shawnzie, duffy, and timmy..

haha. okay..
they stood in my living room in a line as they watched me and sarah fold towels.
and then they left to go to the movies.
it was the coolest visit i ever had.

me and sarah got my car and went to visit john..
they talked about the good old days..

THEY ARE F'IN PERVERTED.!
yeah my dad and sarah talking about being horny.. i mean COME ON!..
then me and sarah left..
we went up jeremys..
but didnt go to jeremys,
alan and shane were outside.
so then we went to alans..
(meshanealansarah)
HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY CAMERON
I got to see my baby.
i was excited.
but uncle alan is to cool
so he made us leave
hardy har har for him..
we went back to jeremys..

me alan sarah jeremy n shane chilled..
shane left at 10.. i think
and then the rest of us watched a movie..
my mommy came and got me jeremy n sarah around 11 15..
jeremy went to run.
alan went home.
now im going to bed with SARAH.
~>GOODNIGHT*

Posted at 08:24 pm by ashlee
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